What’s your name?


Oh- “Hi, Heidi!” Ha ha… well, guess you’re not in a very joking mood. I’m Misha… OK, can’t really blame you for not wanting to shake my hand, either. So, Heidi- do you know what I’ve been doing these past few years, hmm? Was I at home, enjoying life in peace? No, kinda doubtful, because then why would I be standing here now, hundreds of miles away from my home, wearing this army uniform, right? So maybe instead, I was in a war, getting shot at, and witnessing a shitload of my friends getting killed, one, after another, after another, after another? It seems you’ve already figured out what army I’m from, and so that would put us on opposing sides of this conflict, wouldn’t it? And, as it so happens, my side won, THANK GOD ALMIGHTY.

And so, if we’re on opposite sides, and I’m The Winner, then what would that make you? Huh? You don’t want to say? OK, I’ll say it for you- that would make you The Loser. Oh-ho-ho yeah, big time… Oh look at you, aren’t you just adorable, with your golden braids, and those eyes, those eyes! That, that seething hatred in them, like you’d like nothing better right now than to disembowel me and throw me in a pit of hot lava. But, I wouldn’t want to be unfair- I suppose that not all of you supported your fanatical regime that led the entire world into the bloodiest war in human history. So, tell me- were you in favor of this war, and the genocidal rampage that your beloved nation waged throughout the continent, or, do you believe in the brotherhood of mankind, that all people should live together in tolerance and harmony?

How about the second one.

Oh, OK. But you see, I just have one little problem with that. Suppose you really are one of those infernal Nazis- in that case, wouldn’t you also give me that same answer now, to try to make me think otherwise?

But that would also be my answer if it was the truth.

Hmm, yes, fair point, can’t really argue with that. Alright, goodbye. Oh, wait- what’s this? Oh look, I’ve got a gun! Ain’t that swell- beats logic every time. So, in this elaborate racial hierarchy you folks came up with, Slavs don’t “make the cut”, do they? Well, I figure, as long as I’m going to be thought of as a subhuman regardless, I might as well get the benefit of acting like one.

Copyright © 2016 by Sandra Goldstein.